Strange Business in the Bathroom

                Attention Attention.  Those of you who use the restroom may have received this terrible fate before and therefore you can probably relate to this.  So I went to the Restroom to urinate in the toilet.  I don’t know about you but I think that in a choice between peeing in my pants, on the floor or in the toilet: I’d choose the toilet an overwhelming majority of the time.  Anyway, I finish peeing and I go to wash my hands.  Well to go off on another tangent I just wanted to say, I saw someone else not wash his hands.  Damn commies.  Anyway, I’m sayin my A, B, C’s, doin’ my thing when I notice my pants are wet, and for a moment, I think I may have peed myself.  So I feel it, and I see that it’s cold, at least I didn’t pee myself.  But I look at the counter, and that’s wetter than a slip and slide that’s strategically placed at the bottom of a waterfall.  Some asshole wet the counter and didn’t even clean up behind himself.  This next part doesn’t really relate to the story, but I cleaned it up (yeah I’m a pretty good citizen.)  I can’t be sure but I’m confident that some guy named Tod was in the restroom earlier and he poured a bucket of water onto the countertop.  I can’t help Tod stop doing this, because it’s easy, just don’t  pour buckets of water on countertops.  I also can’t help you avoid the water because it’s all Tod’s fault, not yours.  But, I can do this: I can explain why this makes Tod the worst man ever.  (Comparable to Ellen DeGeneres)

                So first off, Tod why can’t you clean up behind yourself.  I don’t know about you but my mama taught me that other people shouldn’t have to suffer for/clean up your problems unless there is genuinely no other way.  My mother also taught me to say please and thank you to people, and to keep my elbows off of the table, and to put my napkin in my lap but not tuck it in, and which side my silverware goes on.  But Tod, you could have very easily wiped that down on your own.  Or better yet YOU COULD HAVE REFRAINED FROM POURING THAT BUCKET OF WATER ONTO THE COUNTER.

                Next, you have left a note.  I know this sounds silly, but maybe you were in a rush and didn’t have time to clean up the mess.  If that’s the case it would have been nice of you to quickly write a letter on one of the paper towels explaining the circumstance and left it on the mirror to avoid ruining the bathroom for others.  Honestly, if you knew that a basketball was going to be shot via cannon from three miles away to a basketball hoop and you needed to leave at that exact moment in order to get to the hoop in time to catch that ball for an alley-oop pass, I would have been more than happy to make that possible for you by cleaning up your mess.  Hell, I may have even left a reply note asking you if you made it in time.  But you have to let people know these things in advance.  Had you left a note, my pants would have been dry and there would be no severe harm done.

                Tod, I think I said something like this in a prior post but I gotta say it again.  A great man once said “In this ninja world that we are cursed to live in, those who abandon their mission’s are considered scum, but those who abandoned their comrades are worse than scum.”  Well to paraphrase kakashi sensei “In this modern world that we are cursed to live in, those who make/leave messes are considered scum, but those who make messes and don’t clean or leave necessary warning are worse than scum.”  On a serious note, I don’t take issue with the fact that Tod made a mess because it happens, once I spilt ice cream on the floor, the thing that frustrates me is that Tod didn’t act accordingly and his selfishness/care caused harm to someone else.  Also, it still really pisses me off that this person who shall remain nameless didn’t wash his hands.  But really, if you only take one thing from this story, than let it be this:  PERFORM YOUR CIVIC DUTY or suffer some consequences!